#26: Couch by Benjamin Parzybok

True Story: I moved from Texas to Brooklyn with two suitcases and a carry-on. Included in these bags were a few sets of clothing, my necessary proof of identity, and a griddle (because french toast is a priority). When I finally made it to New York and had obtained something soft on which to sleep, my roommates and I were left with the task of finding a couch. We eventually found an 8 foot seating apparatus on Craigslist that appeared to come from a dentist’s office waiting room in 1963. It was in our price range and we could pick it up immediately. The only problem was that since we were new to the city and had limited transportation resources, we were left to carry it from its original owner, back to our apartment, FORTY BLOCKS AWAY.

No problem, we thought, it’s not that heavy. Oh, but it was! That couch made the weird muscle between the elbow and wrist hurt like it had never existed before that day. We made it about 10 blocks in 45 minutes. More than one person had stopped to comment on the three rather small girls walking down the avenue with a million pounds of furniture, but we finally agreed to let the plumber with the Honda Odyssey give us a ride home, with the couch resting calmly in the back. 

I realize now what a horrible idea this was, but it’s a memory I love. We were so new and so completely naive to think that the nice guy with the Jesus fish decal wouldn’t hurt us. And he didn’t, but still…

Basically, this book is kind of like that story. It’s about three guys that move a couch around the world. I wish the characters had been better developed but the adventurous story about moving a magical couch is fun. In fact, it’s the whole reason I picked up the book in the first place. I still can’t figure out whether I’d actually recommend this one to someone, but I know everyone understands what a horror it is to have to move a couch. And don’t make me help you move yours anytime soon because I’m plainly terrible at such things.