Express your shelf!

The Guardian has an article today about book sorting and what it says about our time and personalities. It lists the following as options for how to define yourself:

• The literary snob

Old Penguins, heavily creased to denote re-reading, are lined up in rows of orange, black and grey. These can be bought by the yard at most secondhand bookshops, and are a very easy way of acquiring instant intellectual credibility.

• The David Cameron

Books by important members of the new Tory World Order are prominently displayed where they can be seen by everyone. Acolytes can ascertain how close to power they are by the position of their own books.

• The Jeffrey Archer

Shelf after shelf of your own book in every imaginable translation and edition – frequently in multiples of 10. Come to think of it, this applies to almost ever author I know.

• The ‘I’m desperate for a shag’, male version

Must include prominent copies of The Golden Notebook and The Second Sex and any dreary rubbish by Ian McEwan lying around to show you are in touch with your sensitive side. Best to hide any well-thumbed copies of Belle du Jour and La Vie Sexuelle by Catherine M under the bed.

• The ‘I’m desperate for a shag’, female version

Doesn’t really require books – it’s the last thing a man will notice. But on the off-chance you bring someone home who can read, it might be an idea temporarily to lose anything too intimidating by Andrea Dworkin. Unless you’re a lesbian, in which case you might like to put it on the coffee table.

• The kleptomaniac

Easy. You just arrange your books in accordance with the numbering system of the library from which you nicked them.

As for me, I try my best to keep my books in the order of which they were read. I find it encourages sentimentality and an aesthetically pleasing spontaneity. I guess that makes me a Rob Gordon. The above list seems to lack variety and gender knowledge, so how do you arrange your library?