It's September and everyone knows.

Everyone knows the real New Year is here. It’s when the terribly weird mixture of slowly drawing inward and outwardly confessing plans becomes the normal thing to do. So it is with this understanding that I call bullshit on January and start my reading resolutions now. They are as follows:

1. Get a library card. I have been a complete failure in my quest to come off as remotely literary and it is probably due to the fact that my membership to the NYPL has not been initiated. Besides, who in their right mind thinks they can get away with wearing this many cardigans and not have a library card?
2. Read other things besides books. This includes magazines, lit reviews, old CD inserts, restaurant menus, and work related pamphlets.
3. Acquire an embosser so that I may claim books as my own without worrying about how my signature will look to people who borrow them. Plus, I think these things look cool.
4. Do not get food and drinks all over everything that has printed words on it.
5. Attempt to read the newspaper without leaning over the kitchen table and getting ink stained elbows.

Per usual, I’ll let you know how it goes.